Every now again, someone will come into my life who touches my soul in ways I can not describe. The type of person who I see so much potential in, if I show up less than 100%, I am doing a disservice to the both of us. I had the honor of meeting Michelle in the my late 20s. The determination in her eyes is a visual embedded in my brain. More than a year after our first encounter, her mom reached out to me on social media asking if it would be okay for us to reconnect. I am forever grateful she did. I am told Michelle dislikes the word inspiration, so I am keeping this post clean of that word. I had the pleasure of getting to ask her some questions and I believe it showcases her courageous personality and the power of perspective. I hope you are moved by her words and come back to this post as many times you need to find motivation to keep going. This woman is doing big things and I am excited for her to leave her mark on the world! <3
Can you give us a little bit of background of who you are?
My name is Michelle. I am currently 20 years old, a right leg amputee, and I play wheelchair tennis for University of Arizona.
When I was 14 I started experiencing pain in my right knee and it took 8 months to find out that a cancerous tumor, softball size, had been growing in my right hip. After a year of chemotherapy and no effect, I decided to amputate my whole right leg. Around this time, I had the pleasure to meet Haylee. She taught me to better my self and push myself to the limits for the results. Plus, I believe she had a direct hand into me being as sarcastic and somewhat of a “smart mouth” that I am today!
You made some big decisions at a young age. What was the process like for you? Hard. At age 14 I had realized that the chemotherapy I was on wasn’t doing anything to the tumor in my hip. So I had a serious conversation with myself what to do….I then decided that I had had enough, that I did not want to go through anymore chemo in hopes that it would shrink. At age 14 I decided to just amputate my leg to get rid of the tumor. But to me that meant more than losing a leg. At that time it meant giving up all the athletics that I loved. It meant starting from scratch on learning to walk. And it meant that I will never be like I was before cancer. The real kicker was that if I didn’t go through with the surgery, the cancer would take over my body and I would have died months later. Despite all I would lose I wasn’t ready to lose my life.
When we first met, I didn’t realize you played tennis? When did you start playing? I had played sports all my childhood. I loved the feeling of adrenaline that competitions had, and I wanted to play every sport I could. So one day while walking past the tennis courts going to my softball game I saw a woman in a pink skirt playing tennis. I immediately looked up to my parents and said, “I want to play that next”. Since that day I’ve been playing tennis for 12 years. However, after my surgery I had thought my tennis career was over until my coach and dad found a video of two people playing tennis in a sport chair. At that moment I felt my drive come back and wanted to learn it all over again. I have been playing wheelchair tennis 4 years out of that 12. Now playing at UofA on scholarship. My main goal was to get back to what I was in my abilities in tennis. I think I have surpassed young self!
How have your past experiences made you more capable of facing future challenges? I have found a dark humor side to myself which really helps when life gets rough. And I try to find the light in most things because in my mind nothing can be worse than going through cancer. Also with my stubbornness and having one leg, I have found that life is basically a game with different challenges to get past, and I refuse to declare that something is impossible for me.
What are you most proud of? I am proud of myself, of course. That’s crazy for a kid to go through at age 14. I see little kids who were my age and think to myself, “ wow, when I was that small I was fighting for my life”. But I think I’m the most proud of my family. My mom was in the front seat of it all and at the end she didn’t come out worse, but better in my eyes. Now she has that dark humor like me, which always makes me laugh. Same goes for my dad. It was rough for him, me being the youngest daughter, but in the end for him same goes. He is much more jokey than he was before because I think he realizes that life is too short to be a grump all the time. And of course my sister who literally changed colleges to be closer to home for the family. She is my best friend who I can call even if it’s 1 in the morning. It was a sh*tty time for my whole family but I don’t think it ruined us. It made us better.
How would you describe yourself in one word? Stubborn. I don’t accept help from people unless I am 100% sure that I need it. I will find a way.
I have always known you to be a highly motivated and determined individual. What are some of your future plans and aspirations? I am on my way to getting my degree in psychology to become a child life specialist and help other kids who are facing cancer like I did. And to really reach out to children who are expecting to need amputations and show them that it’s not all bad. But the one big thing cancer taught me was that life is really really short. So I want to take some time to travel and make some memories.
What tips, advice or words of wisdom do you have for readers? Despite going through chemo and losing my leg… if I had a choice to never have cancer, I wouldn’t take it. Yeah it was horrible and I hated every moment, but I think I came out better than what I was. Going through that experience has opened so many more doors in my life and I’ve done so much more than I ever would have if I didn’t have cancer in the first place. So my advice would be – a hard time in your life may be tough, but hold out just a little longer and see what the other side of it looks like.
*Photo provided by Michelle. Responses provided by Michelle with consent to release responses.